Getting Unstuck
by Lyerly Spongberg of Step Up With Lyerly, Divorce Coach
When You Know, But You’re Stuck
There’s a quiet moment—maybe in the middle of the night, maybe while folding laundry or sitting in your car—when you realize something has to change. You’ve been sitting with it for a while now. That nagging sense that something isn’t right. The growing distance. The conversations that never quite land. The ache of disconnection you can’t seem to shake—no matter how hard you try.
Maybe you’ve already said the word divorce out loud. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’re still whispering it in your mind, barely able to believe it might apply to you. You know something has to change. But you feel stuck.
Not because you’re indecisive. Not because you’re weak. But because it’s big. It’s emotional. It’s complex. And once you take the first step, there’s no going back. So you freeze.
You worry about the kids. About the finances. About what people will think. About whether this makes you a failure. About how you’ll manage the holidays. (What would I do without my kids at Thanksgiving!) The logistics. The loneliness.
This is where so many people stay—trapped between knowing and acting. And it makes perfect sense. Because the idea of divorce isn’t just about leaving a relationship. It’s about stepping into the unknown. Reimagining your future. Letting go of who you were so you can make space for who you’re becoming.
You may even feel guilt for wanting more—more peace, more clarity, more joy—especially if things aren’t “that bad” on paper. But you don’t have to justify your unhappiness. Emotional neglect, chronic disconnection, or living in constant conflict can all quietly erode your sense of self. Wanting to feel alive in your own life again is not selfish. It’s human.
And while no one else can make this decision for you, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. You deserve support as you untangle your thoughts, your fears, your hopes. You deserve a space to explore what moving forward could look like without judgment or pressure. That’s where coaching can be a lifeline—not to tell you what to do, but to walk beside you as you remember your own strength.
But here’s what I want you to hear: Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It means the decision matters to you. And if it matters, it deserves your attention, your care, and your own timeline.
You don’t have to make a final decision today. You don’t have to file paperwork tomorrow. You just have to start with one honest step:
Tell the truth—to yourself.
Reach out to someone safe.
Write down what’s no longer sustainable.
Ask questions, even if you don’t have answers yet.
Give yourself permission to begin before you feel fully “ready.”
Clarity often comes through action, not before it. And every small step you take out of the fog helps you reclaim your voice, your peace, your power. This isn’t just an ending. It’s the beginning of a different kind of strength—the kind that comes from choosing yourself, even when the road ahead feels uncertain.
If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know where to begin, I’m here to help. Whether you’re simply gathering information or ready to take your next step, divorce coaching can give you the clarity and confidence to move forward—at your own pace, with intention. To learn more about me, ADR Divorce Coaching, Mediation Coaching or to schedule a complimentary consult call, please visit stepupwithlyerly.com today.
This blogpost was originally posted here!
Learn more about and how to work with Lyerly Spongberg here!
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.