I’m Divorced and a Divorce Professional—Here’s What I Learned with Kelli Sedwick-Drummond, Divorce Coach, Personal Growth & Empowerment Coach
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At Fresh Starts, we’re proud to spotlight the incredible professionals who guide people through one of life’s most challenging transitions: divorce. Today, we’re featuring Kelli Sedwick-Drummond, a Divorce Coach, Personal Growth & Empowerment Coach, whose work helps clients find clarity, strength, and a true fresh start.
Kelli, what was your divorce journey like—what season of life you were in, the biggest challenge, and what supported you most?
I filed for divorce in 2021 after 20 years of marriage. The kids were 18, 16 and 11 years old at the time. I did not want them to end up in a marriage like mine. It was absolutely necessary to break the cycle of hidden abuse in order for each of us to heal. I had no family support and navigated the entire process my own. I read books and thought I knew what I was doing, but I made so many mistakes. I hired the wrong attorney, was given bad advice and took one financial hit after another.
I came across a certification program for becoming a divorce coach. It inspired me to be the support for others that I wish I'd had while I was going through it. I also went through an extensive mastery coach training program to expand my work into personal growth and empowerment. I spent so much time focusing on getting through the next hurdle, the next moment, the next day that I didn't even think about what I wanted my life to look like after it was all over. It is my mission to improve the process, wipe out the stigma, cheer people on and celebrate with them in their fresh start. There is nothing more beautiful than realizing you can build a beautiful life on the other side!
Time with friends saved me during my divorce. Exercise is essential to me for stress management, and I've recently been meditating and doing breathwork. Time in nature and reading were helpful - inspiring books helped me get my footing again.
Knowing what I know now, I would have assembled the right support team from the very beginning. Conflict is expensive, yet advocating for yourself is also really important! I also realized divorced people are awesome.
What’s one thing your own divorce taught you that you couldn’t have learned otherwise? Looking back, what would you do differently in your divorce? What surprised you most about the divorce process?
Divorce Lesson: I am resilient, strong and I deserve to be happy! I spent so many years being miserable, thinking that was how everyone's marriage was - I was completely wrong.
I would have immediately hired a CDFA, Divorce Coach, Divorce Mortgage Professional and got myself into therapy much sooner.
I had no idea the divorce process is so slow through the court and how archaic the family court system is. I didn't even know what mediation was or that you did not have to go to court.
How does your personal divorce experience shape the way you work with clients now? Do you feel your divorce gave you a different kind of empathy for clients? How so?
I feel what they are going through deep in my bones. Having lived through it definitely gives me a deep empathy for my clients. It's also important to be able to hold clear space for clients since every divorce is so different.
My job is not to influence any outcome, but to help clients find clarity and discover their own answers and what works best for them in their lives.
Help navigating the big emotions definitely leads to better outcomes.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone going through divorce right now?
Surround yourself with the right support
Meet yourself with compassion
Welcome all the emotions - the more you resist and stuff them down the worse it gets
Expect to be uncomfortable, but know that this will eventually pass
Don't get caught up in shame and judging yourself
Stay as consistent as you can for your kids - they are watching you rise from the ashes, and your bond is something special!
How do you encourage clients to see divorce not just as an ending, but as a fresh start?
The courage it takes to go through divorce should absolutely be celebrated!! I encourage my clients to focus on what is important to them now and moving forward. I like to remind them this new chapter they get to write and it's a blank page. There are so many little things you can find beauty in during a fresh start.
What’s one misconception you had about divorce before experiencing it yourself?
I used to think if you weren't married by a certain age something was wrong. Nope - these people had it right all along! Society sells us a messed-up idea. I now realize I am worthy and so are you! The divorced people I've met are some of the most self-aware, kind, hard-working people I know.
What’s one thing that people are often surprised to learn about you?
I have a creative artsy side. I love fashion and originally wanted to be a fashion designer when I was little. I would sketch fashions and have my friends judge them at school. The problem was I could not sew anything more than a button and that was not very good!
What does life look like for you now, after divorce?
My home is now happy and peaceful. My work has purpose. The kids are able to fully be themselves. I am so proud of their character. They are thriving and support each other in a way they never could before. My daughter graduated college in May, and my son will graduate college December 2026. My youngest son is enjoying high school - he plays lacrosse and golf. None of this was easy on any of us. The best news is that life on the other side can be wonderful.
What does “fresh start” mean to you personally?
My fresh start meant saying goodbye to all that was destroying me. I had to completely rebuild my life and start over, and it was scary and hard. When you are recovering from abuse it feels impossible at times. It is possible. It's like the sun coming up after a very long dark night. Fresh start means hope for the future!
Thank you Kelli for sharing your wisdom and experience with the Fresh Starts community! You can learn more about their work by checking out Kelli’s profile below!
