Divorce Happens: Survival Scenario – I’m Being Asked to Sign Papers I Don’t Understand
Divorce Happens: Survival Scenarios is all about the real-life “oh no, now what?!” moments people face during divorce—like empty bank accounts, custody curveballs, or surprise legal papers—and pairing them with clear, compassionate guidance from trusted experts. Each post in the series offers support, strategies, and a reminder that you don’t have to face these challenges alone.
Divorce Happens: Survival Scenario –
Help! I’m staring at these divorce papers and I feel sick. My spouse just handed me a stack of documents and said, ‘Just sign—it’s standard.’ But I don’t understand half of what’s in here. Am I about to sign away my rights? What if I mess up something about custody, money, or the house? I don’t want to look difficult, but I also don’t want to make a mistake I can’t undo.
Guidance from Allison McFadden, Mediator and Divorce Coach
What should I never sign without legal review?
If you don't understand it, don't sign it. Divorce papers aren’t a software update you can scroll through and hit accept without reading. Never sign settlement agreements, parenting plans, or anything containing a waiver of rights (spousal support, retirement, property, etc.) without understanding the legal implications.
These documents can have life-changing and often permanent consequences—you could be giving up things you’re entitled to without even realizing it. Look for red-flag words like “permanent,” “binding,” “irrevocable,” “waiver,” “terminate,” or “freely and voluntarily consenting.”
Who should I take these documents to before signing?
A family law attorney. If funds are limited, start with free legal aid resources or consider a limited-scope consultation where an attorney reviews the documents and advises you on your specific situation.
If you’re worried that working with an attorney will ramp up the conflict, seek out an amicable or collaborative attorney. You want someone who can explain what the documents mean, how the law applies to you, and advise you based on what your goals are—not someone who is going to add fuel to the fire.
What risks could I face if I sign under pressure?
Pressure is a manipulation tactic. There’s virtually no scenario where something is so time-sensitive that you can’t have it reviewed before signing. If someone is rushing you to sign without legal review, that's your biggest red flag.
Unfortunately, while your spouse may have been the person you trusted before, you can’t necessarily trust them to have your best interest at heart now. It is difficult to get an agreement thrown out later, even if you felt pressured. That means you could inadvertently give up years of retirement savings or much-needed spousal support just because of one waiver paragraph.
Even if some parts are modifiable by the court later (like custody or child support), you’ll face a long, expensive, emotionally draining legal battle to change them. In the meantime, you’ll be stuck living under an agreement that isn’t best for you or your kids.
Key Takeaways
Never sign anything you don’t fully understand.
Settlement agreements, parenting plans, and waivers of rights always require review.
Pressure is a red flag. If someone’s rushing you, stop.
Get legal help. Even limited consultations can protect your future.
This is not legal information. Please reach out to one of our trusted divorce lawyers for further assistance.
