What to Consider in a Parenting Plan When One Parent May Live Overseas

A question that often comes up in our community is: “What should I think about when creating a parenting plan if my co-parent may be living in another country for work or military service?”

This is a unique but not uncommon situation. Long-distance or international co-parenting brings extra layers of complexity, especially when one parent has not been very present in the children’s daily lives. Here are some things to keep in mind as you build a plan.

Best Interests of the Children

Courts always start with this standard: what’s in the children’s best interests? Stability, consistency, and meaningful relationships with both parents matter. If one parent is overseas for long stretches of time, that will likely affect what type of custody arrangement is realistic.

Parenting Time Across Distances

When a parent lives abroad, courts may:

• Establish primary physical custody with the parent who remains stateside, ensuring day-to-day stability.

• Provide for extended visits with the overseas parent during school breaks, holidays, or summer vacation.

• Use virtual visitation tools (video calls, messaging apps) to maintain regular contact between children and the long-distance parent.

Special Considerations for Military Families

Military life brings unique challenges: frequent moves, deployments, and varying schedules. A parenting plan can address:

• Who makes major decisions about education and health care

• How transitions between homes are managed

• What happens during deployments or relocations

• Travel costs and logistics (who pays, how it’s arranged)

A Gentle Reminder

It’s okay to want your children to have a relationship with both parents and to prioritize their stability and safety. Wanting regular contact but not full-time overseas living doesn’t make you unreasonable—it makes you thoughtful and protective.

At Fresh Starts, we have co-parenting experts, mediators, and family law professionals in our Expert Guide who can help you build a parenting plan that balances your children’s needs with the realities of military or overseas life.

If you’re at the beginning of this process, download our free ebook, What to Consider When You’re Considering Divorce. It includes scripts, checklists, and compassionate advice to help you prepare for custody conversations and parenting plan negotiations.

Your fresh start—and your children’s stability—begin with a plan built around their best interests.