Divorce Happens: Survival Scenarios is all about the real-life “oh no, now what?!” moments people face during divorce—like empty bank accounts, custody curveballs, or surprise legal papers—and pairing them with clear, compassionate guidance from trusted experts. Each post in the series offers support, strategies, and a reminder that you don’t have to face these challenges alone.

Divorce Happens: Survival Scenario –

Help! I just logged into our accounts and the college fund is zero. EVERYTHING we’d been saving for the kids’ tuition is gone. I’m shaking. How could they do this? Do I call the bank, or will that make things worse? Can they even legally touch that money? I don’t know what to do first. I feel sick and so betrayed. Any advice or even just what to say to my lawyer?

Guidance from Donna Cates, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, founder of Money Matters Wealth Solutions

1. What are the legal implications of draining children’s funds?

This can be considered a misuse of marital or custodial assets, and a court may require the funds to be restored, especially if the funds were used for something other than your kids’ college expenses. Don’t confront your spouse in anger. Let the legal process address it.

2. Can I take action to recover or protect what’s left?

Yes. Freeze remaining accounts if possible and notify your attorney right away. Avoid moving money in secret yourself, as that can work against you later.

3. How do I document this for future court use?

Gather account statements, screenshots, and any withdrawal records immediately. Keep them organized and secure. Don’t alter or add personal notes to the originals; courts want clean evidence.

What not to do: Don’t lash out, move funds on your own, or confront your spouse in anger. Stay calm, lean on your legal/financial team, and protect your credibility; it matters greatly in court.

*this is not legal information, please reach out to one of our trusted divorce lawyers for further assistance.

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