Divorce Happens: Survival Scenarios: “Help, my soon-to-be-ex-spouse changed the locks on our marital residence and I can’t get in!”

Sep 21

Divorce Happens: Survival Scenarios is all about the real-life “oh no, now what?!” moments people face during divorce—like empty bank accounts, custody curveballs, or surprise legal papers—and pairing them with clear, compassionate guidance from trusted experts. Each post in the series offers support, strategies, and a reminder that you don’t have to face these challenges alone.

Divorce Happens: Survival Scenario –

Help, I just got home and my key doesn’t work anymore. They actually changed the locks. I’m standing outside completely panicked — all my stuff, the kids’ things, even my important papers are inside. Can they even do this? Am I supposed to just leave? I don’t know what to do right now!

Guidance from Jessica Zadjura, Family Law Attorney

Take a Breath! You walk up to the door with your key, and it does not turn. The lock has been changed. Panic or anger may hit first. Pause before reacting. This situation can feel overwhelming, but there are usually several paths forward.

Step 1: Consider Your Rights

Your ability to access the home may depend on whose name is on the title or lease, whether it is considered marital property, and whether any court orders exist.
In some situations, one spouse may not be able to keep the other out without a judge’s involvement. In others, a protective order or exclusive use order could change the picture entirely.
It is important to clarify what applies in your specific circumstances.

Step 2: Avoid Escalating

Trying to force your way in can turn a difficult situation into something more serious. Instead, think about documenting what happened:

Take a photo of the locked door.
Write down the date, time, and any conversation you had about it.

Step 3: Explore Options for Access

Hiring a locksmith: If you believe you still have legal rights to enter, some people consider calling a locksmith. While this may be a straightforward way back in, it can also increase tension.
Through an attorney: Having a lawyer send a written request for access or a copy of the key may resolve the issue without further conflict.
Through the court: If cooperation is not possible, filing a request with the court for access or temporary use of the home may be an option.

Step 4: Law Enforcement—Know the Limits

Law enforcement may view this as a civil issue and may not force access without a court order.
They may, however, be willing to provide an escort if you need to collect essential belongings.
If you feel unsafe or fear the situation could escalate, contacting them could be a way to protect yourself.

Step 5: Decide What You Need

Ask yourself whether your priority is moving back into the home or simply collecting your belongings.
Consider whether mediation could help set ground rules until the divorce process sorts things out.
Think about whether you want to move forward with a court filing if the situation does not improve.

What Not To Do When Your Ex Changes the Lock on the Marital Home

Avoid breaking in or damaging property—it could create bigger issues.
Avoid direct conflict or threats—they often backfire.
Avoid ignoring any court orders—violations can carry serious consequences.
Avoid reacting on impulse—measured steps tend to create better outcomes.

A lock change can feel like the door has literally been slammed shut, but there are usually options. Your next step will depend on your rights, your goals, and your willingness to pursue legal or cooperative solutions.

*this is not legal information, please reach out to one of our trusted divorce lawyers for further assistance.

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