Please note that these answers are not legal advice. If you’re in need of legal advice or a lawyer please visit our Expert Guide

How to Serve Divorce Papers:

Serving divorce papers is a crucial step in the divorce process, and it must be done correctly and legally to move forward. Here’s the step-by-step breakdown:

File the Divorce Papers with the Court

First, you need to file your divorce petition (sometimes called a complaint for divorce) with your local family court.
You will receive stamped copies of the paperwork, which are the official documents to serve.

Choose a Method of Service

You cannot serve the papers yourself. You have a few options:

Sheriff or Marshal – You can hire your local sheriff’s department to deliver the papers.
Process Server – A private process server can professionally handle this.
Certified Mail with Return Receipt – In some states, you can mail the papers if your ex is cooperative.
Third Party Over 18 – Some states allow any neutral adult (over 18, not involved in the case) to serve the papers.

Proof of Service

After the papers are delivered, the person who served them must fill out a Proof of Service form.
This form confirms that your spouse received the documents and it must be filed with the court.
Without this step, the court won’t recognize that your spouse was served, and the case can’t move forward.

If Your Spouse Can’t Be Found

If you can’t locate your ex, you may need to request Service by Publication:

This allows you to post a legal notice in a local newspaper.
This is only approved by the court after you demonstrate that you’ve made a reasonable effort to find them.

Wait for the Response Period

After being served, your spouse has a specific period to respond (usually 20–30 days, depending on the state).
If they don’t respond, you may be able to proceed with a default judgment, where the court grants your requests.

Example Scenario:

If you file for divorce in New York, you would need to have your ex served within 120 days of filing. You might hire a process server who delivers the papers, fills out the Affidavit of Service, and you file that with the court to confirm the service was successful.

Get more info with The Divorce Guide →

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