Confused about Caregiving in California: how do you set boundaries with your own parents?

Apr 23

Season 1, episode 7

In this heartfelt episode, Jenny dives into the emotional complexities of setting boundaries—especially in adult relationships with parents. Prompted by a listener question about navigating caregiving concerns while protecting one’s emotional wellbeing, Jenny shares her perspective on how to honor both compassion and self-respect. She explains the difference between communicated boundaries (what we say) and internal boundaries (what we do or don't allow ourselves to absorb), reminding listeners that healthy relationships require both.

Hi Jenny, Oh my goodness, I’m so glad I found your podcast—it’s been such a helpful resource! Here’s my question: As we start the new year, I’m thinking about setting clear boundaries, especially with family. What advice do you have for adult children dealing with parents who may be immature or who weren’t very supportive during childhood? Specifically, how can we help them stay independent for as long as possible while also protecting our own emotional and mental health, so we’re not taking on a caregiving role before it’s absolutely necessary? I hope this resonates with others, too—thank you so much for your insight!
Sincerely, Confused about Caregiving in California

Jenny gently affirms that we are not responsible for managing the lives or emotions of capable adults—even our parents. Holding back unsolicited advice, saying no without guilt, and recognizing when certain conversations may do more harm than good are all essential tools in maintaining emotional balance. She speaks candidly about the grief that can come with realizing some family members may never change—and how that realization can actually open the door to peace, clarity, and deeper healing.

Therapy, Jenny emphasizes, can be a powerful companion on this journey. Finding a therapist who truly “gets you” can help unravel generational patterns and empower you to make loving yet firm decisions. Ultimately, Jenny reminds us that prioritizing our mental health isn't selfish—it’s necessary. This episode is a reassuring listen for anyone learning how to balance love, boundaries, and the difficult truths of family dynamics.