The Friendship Playbook for Divorce with Psychotherapist and Relationship Specialist Stevie Blum
The first friendships to change after divorce aren’t always the loud ones—they’re the quiet ones that stop texting back. In this episode, Olivia sits down with psychotherapist and relationship specialist Stevie Blum to name that ache and offer language for it. Stevie works with high-achieving women navigating life transitions, anxiety, and perfectionism, helping them “rewire” unhelpful patterns and design lives aligned with their higher selves. Together, they map the overlooked grief of friendship during divorce: the early rush of check-ins that fades, the isolation of being the first in your circle to separate, and the sting of well-meaning but misguided advice.
Stevie offers a compassionate toolkit for moments when you feel dropped by your people. She explains the spotlight effect—how we overestimate the space we occupy in others’ lives—and why depersonalizing helps. She shares how to turn a complaint into a clear request (“It would mean a lot if you checked in on Fridays” or “Please include me when your family does Saturday plans”), and gives boundary scripts for friends who keep saying the wrong thing. When a repair isn’t possible, she introduces her gentle sequence: solve, reframe, accept—and reminds us that acceptance isn’t approval; it’s choosing not to fight what’s true.
Threaded through is Stevie’s wave metaphor for big feelings: stop thrashing, let the water roll over you, and trust there is another side. Listeners will leave with hope and practical language—assume best intent, ask for what you need, offer friends “the gift” of feedback—and a reframe that heals both directions: “Everyone’s doing the best they can…and they can do better.” Vulnerability can deepen certain friendships, reveal unexpected allies, and rebuild the confidence you’ll use everywhere else—from texting your best friend to asking your lawyer for what you deserve.
To get in touch with Stevie Blum: