What if my ex doesn’t follow the custody agreement?
Please note that these answers are not legal advice. If you’re in need of legal advice or a lawyer please visit our Expert Guide
If your ex is not following the terms of your court-ordered custody agreement, it’s considered a violation of a court order—and you have options to enforce it. Here’s what you can do:
Document Every Incident
Keep detailed records of every time your ex violates the agreement.
Include:
Dates and times of missed pick-ups or drop-offs
Refusals to return the child on time
Canceled visitations without proper notice
Interference with scheduled phone calls or communication
Save all texts, emails, and voicemails as proof of non-compliance.
Communicate in Writing
Send a polite but firm message reminding your ex of the agreed-upon schedule.
Example:
"Hi [Ex’s Name], I wanted to remind you that our custody agreement states [specific clause]. I would appreciate it if we could stick to the schedule moving forward. Let me know if you have any concerns."Written communication creates a paper trail if you need to go to court.
Attempt Mediation (If Possible)
If the issue is minor or new, mediation might help resolve it without court intervention.
A neutral third party can help both of you revisit the agreement and work out misunderstandings.
File a Motion for Contempt of Court
If the violations continue, you can:
File a Motion for Contempt of Court.
This lets the judge know that your ex is not complying with the custody agreement.
The judge can then enforce consequences, which may include:
Fines or sanctions
Make-up parenting time
Modification of the custody agreement
In severe cases, jail time
Request a Custody Modification (If Necessary)
If your ex consistently refuses to follow the agreement, you can request a modification of custody:
The court may adjust the arrangement if your ex is interfering with your parenting time.
Judges prioritize the best interest of the child and value consistency and cooperation.
In Extreme Cases: Contact Law Enforcement
If your ex refuses to return the child after their scheduled visitation, it can be considered parental kidnapping.
In this situation, you can contact the police if there is a court order in place.
Always keep a copy of your custody agreement on hand for situations like this.
Example Scenario:
If your custody agreement states that you get the children every other weekend, and your ex repeatedly cancels last minute or doesn’t show up, you can:
Document each incident.
Send a written message reminding them of the agreement.
File a Motion for Contempt if it continues.
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