What to Consider When You’re Considering Divorce: Finding the Right Divorce Attorney: What to Ask, What to Look For, and How to Choose Legal Support That Aligns With You
Finding an attorney isn't just about hiring legal muscle—it’s about building a trusted partnership for one of the most vulnerable transitions of your life. The right attorney will not only understand your legal needs but respect your emotional goals and communicate clearly and honestly.
But how do you find that person when you’re already overwhelmed, scared, or unsure of what you even need? Let’s break it down.
This guide will walk you through key considerations when choosing a divorce attorney, why each one matters, what kind of expert can help, and one clear action step you can take for each. Plus, don’t miss our FREE e-book with 250+ questions to help you build your full divorce support team.
👉 Download it here for free — no email required
1. Know What Type of Legal Support You Need
Why this matters:
There are different kinds of legal representation depending on how complex or collaborative your divorce is. Choosing the right type ensures you’re not overpaying—or under-protected.
Options include:
Full representation: Attorney handles everything, from filing to court.
Limited scope (unbundled): Attorney helps with specific pieces, like paperwork or mediation prep.
Mediation support: Attorney advises you privately while you work through a mediator.
Collaborative law: Each spouse has an attorney committed to resolution without court.
Who can help:
A divorce coach or legal navigator can help assess your situation and refer you to the right kind of attorney.
Action step:
Jot down your top legal concerns (e.g. custody, assets, safety, communication issues). This will help determine whether you need full or limited representation.
2. Interview More Than One Attorney
Why this matters:
Not all lawyers are created equal. You deserve someone who listens well, aligns with your values, and makes you feel informed—not intimidated. Compare styles, strategies, and communication preferences.
Who can help:
A divorce support platform (like Fresh Starts Registry) or a local bar association can connect you to vetted professionals.
Action step:
Book at least 2–3 free consultations. Use our free e-book to guide your questions—including:
How do you typically communicate with clients?
What is your approach to negotiation vs. litigation?
Do you offer flat fees or hourly billing?
3. Ask About Communication Style
Why this matters:
Divorce is stressful enough—don’t add a lawyer who ghosts you or speaks in jargon. Your attorney should communicate clearly, promptly, and in a way that works for you.
Who can help:
A divorce coach or therapist can help you identify what kind of communication you need during this emotional process.
Action step:
During your consultation, ask: “How quickly do you respond to emails? Will I speak to you directly or through an assistant?” Note whether their answers match your comfort level.
4. Understand the Cost—and What You’re Paying For
Why this matters:
Legal costs vary dramatically. Some attorneys charge hourly with retainers; others offer flat fees. Knowing what’s included helps you avoid unexpected bills and ensures you can budget realistically.
Who can help:
A CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) can help you factor legal costs into your overall divorce plan.
Action step:
Ask for a breakdown of fees. Clarify billing increments, whether phone calls/emails are charged, and what happens when the retainer runs out. Write it all down.
5. Look for Someone Who Aligns with Your Goals
Why this matters:
You want a lawyer who will honor your goals—whether that’s staying out of court, protecting your children, preserving dignity, or ensuring a fair settlement. A bulldog litigator might not be the right fit if your priority is peaceful co-parenting.
Who can help:
A therapist or divorce coach can help you define your personal goals before you start the legal process.
Action step:
Write down your top 3 goals for the divorce process (e.g. “protect my mental health,” “stay out of court,” “create a stable custody plan”). Use these as a filter during your attorney interviews.
6. Check for Red Flags
Why this matters:
You’re hiring someone to represent your interests in one of the most critical legal moments of your life. If they’re dismissive, overly aggressive, or make big promises without facts—run.
Common red flags include:
Guarantees of outcomes
Pressure to sign quickly
Lack of clear communication
Vague or evasive answers
Who can help:
A trusted friend or support team member can attend consultations with you for a second opinion.
Action step:
After each consultation, jot down how you felt. Did you feel heard? Respected? Educated? Your gut is a valuable tool.
7. Know Where to Start Looking
Why this matters:
You don’t want to pick a name from a Google ad. Choose someone who has experience, integrity, and ideally, a network of referrals that reflect your needs.
Where to start:
Fresh Starts Registry: Our vetted, value-aligned directory of divorce experts
Local bar associations
Word-of-mouth from friends or therapists
Legal aid organizations for affordable options
Who can help:
Your divorce support team—we help you build that.
Action step:
Download our free e-book, Your Divorce Support Team, with 250+ questions to ask potential attorneys, financial experts, and therapists—so you can build a team that supports the whole you.
📘 Download it here – totally free, no email needed
The right divorce attorney won’t just handle your paperwork—they’ll support your power. You deserve a legal advocate who protects your rights and respects your values. Choosing an attorney is one of the most important first steps you’ll take—and you don’t have to do it alone.
At Fresh Starts, we believe in wrapping legal support in community, compassion, and clarity. You’re not just building a legal case. You’re building your next chapter.