What to Consider When You’re Considering Divorce: Navigating the Legal Landscape: What You Need to Know Before You File for Divorce
The moment you begin to consider divorce, you enter not just an emotional process—but a legal one. This reality can feel overwhelming, especially if you don’t have a background in law or feel intimidated by the court system. But understanding the legal basics of divorce early on can help you feel informed, protected, and empowered.
Below is a breakdown of key legal considerations, why they matter, what kind of professional can guide you, and one simple action step for each so you can begin taking control of your future—one decision at a time.
1. Understand the Types of Divorce
Why this matters:
Not all divorces look the same. The legal process varies based on your situation—whether it’s amicable or contested, whether you’re working with lawyers or mediators, and whether court involvement is necessary.
Types include:
Contested divorce: Involves disputes over assets, custody, etc. Requires court intervention.
Uncontested divorce: Both parties agree on all terms. Typically faster and less costly.
Mediated divorce: A neutral third party helps negotiate terms outside court.
Collaborative divorce: Each spouse has a lawyer, but both commit to resolving without court.
Who can help:
A family law attorney or divorce mediator can explain which path best fits your situation.
Action step:
Write down the current state of your relationship: Are you communicating? Are there major disputes? Use this as a framework for exploring which divorce route might work best.
2. Know the Custody Options
Why this matters:
If you have children, custody is one of the most emotional and complex legal components of divorce. Understanding how custody works helps you advocate for your children’s well-being and your parental rights.
Types of custody:
Legal custody: Who makes decisions about health, education, and religion.
Physical custody: Where the child lives.
Sole vs. joint custody: Whether one or both parents share decision-making or physical care.
Who can help:
A family law attorney or child custody evaluator can help clarify options and state-specific rules.
Action step:
List your parenting priorities and ideal custody arrangement. Consider your children’s routines, emotional needs, and what a stable environment looks like for them.
3. Get Clear on Property Division
Why this matters:
Dividing assets and debts is not just a financial process—it’s a legal one. Each state has its own laws about how property is divided in divorce, typically falling into two categories: community property or equitable distribution.
Who can help:
A divorce attorney or certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) can help you determine what’s considered marital vs. separate property and what’s likely to be divided.
Action step:
Begin listing all assets and debts: homes, cars, savings accounts, retirement plans, loans, etc. Mark which ones were acquired before or during the marriage.
4. Know the Importance of Legal Separation vs. Divorce
Why this matters:
Some people pursue legal separation instead of divorce—this allows you to live apart and define terms around custody, finances, and property, without formally ending the marriage. In some states, legal separation is a required step before divorce.
Who can help:
A family law attorney in your state can explain whether legal separation is available, beneficial, or required.
Action step:
Research whether your state recognizes legal separation. If yes, explore what it includes and whether it makes sense for your current situation.
5. Understand the Role of Spousal Support (Alimony)
Why this matters:
Spousal support isn’t automatic—it’s based on need, earning potential, and the length of the marriage. Knowing if you're eligible (or might be responsible for it) is crucial to long-term financial planning.
Who can help:
A divorce attorney or mediator familiar with spousal support calculations in your state.
Action step:
Gather income records (yours and your spouse’s), and estimate living expenses to understand financial need or contributions.
6. Prepare for the Attorney Consultation
Why this matters:
Your first legal consultation is a critical moment. Being prepared makes the most of your time and money—and allows the attorney to give you the clearest guidance possible.
Who can help:
A divorce coach or paralegal can help you organize documents and questions before your attorney meeting.
Action step:
Make a folder with:
A timeline of the marriage (including any incidents of abuse or major events)
Key financial documents
A list of questions (What’s the process? How long will it take? What are my rights?)
7. Understand Your Rights and Risks
Why this matters:
Every state has different divorce laws. Some have mandatory waiting periods, others require parenting classes, and some protect certain types of assets more than others. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your legal rights.
Who can help:
A legal aid office, state court self-help center, or attorney familiar with family law in your state.
Action step:
Visit your state’s family court website or self-help portal to learn about timelines, required forms, and basic legal protections in your area.
8. Know When and How to File
Why this matters:
Filing for divorce involves submitting the correct paperwork in the correct jurisdiction. Getting it wrong can delay the process—or lead to unintentional legal consequences.
Who can help:
A family law attorney or court facilitator can walk you through the filing process step-by-step.
Action step:
Locate your county’s family court website and read the “how to file for divorce” section. Download the initial forms so you can review them, even if you’re not ready to submit.
You don’t need to be a legal expert to start preparing for divorce—but you do deserve to be informed. Understanding the legal landscape helps you protect yourself, your children, and your future. Remember: clarity is power. And every step you take toward legal literacy is a step toward emotional freedom.
Fresh Starts Registry is here to support you at every stage of the process—emotionally and legally. We can connect you with divorce attorneys, mediators, and legal coaches who are aligned with your values and ready to help you move forward with clarity.