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Divorce 101: O Is for Orders (and October)
October is a month of structure. Routines settle, schedules solidify, and life begins to operate with more predictability after the flux of summer and early fall. In divorce, that same need for structure is often met through orders—the legally binding instructions that bring stability while everything else is still being sorted out.
Letter from the Editor: This October Let’s Let the Masks Slip
October Letter from the Editor
There's something almost too on-the-nose about writing this in October — a month built entirely around masks, when so many of you are quietly working out how to take yours off... Here's the distinction worth sitting with: there's a real difference between sharing selectively and hiding out of shame. One comes from boundaries — protecting what's tender because it's yours, not because you're ashamed of it. The other comes from a need to convince someone else your pain is real enough, or your relief is quiet enough, to be acceptable.
Photo by Terrie Alifieri
Podcast Spotlight: Single-Parenting with Connection (NOT Perfection)
Podcast Spotlight: Single-Parenting with Connection (NOT Perfection) | Hosted by Gila Z Reckess, PhD
Why "It's Not That Bad" Is Worth Questioning
Catching yourself saying "it's not that bad" about things that sound bad out loud? Here's why that gap is real information, and how to recalibrate what you actually deserve.
How to Tell the Difference Between Giving Up Too Soon and Effort Not Being the Problem
Tried everything and still blaming your own effort when it doesn't work? Here's how to tell the difference between giving up too soon and recognizing that effort was never the actual problem.
Does Staying Together for the Kids Actually Protect Them?
A child's simple observation can shake a years-long "staying for the kids" belief. Here's why protecting kids and staying together aren't automatically the same thing, and how to let yourself question the plan.
You Only Know a Relationship Based on the Information You Actually Had
You only ever know a relationship based on the information you actually had access to. Here's why "you must have known" isn't fair, and how to release the shame of not knowing.
Preparing For a A Divorce From a Relationship Where There is Coercive Control
Preparing For a A Divorce From a Relationship Where There is Coercive Control by Lisa Happ of Lisa Happ Coaching
I Survived the Divorce. Why Don’t I Feel Better?
I Survived the Divorce. Why Don’t I Feel Better? by Leah Marie Mazur of Mindfully Ready, Divorce Recovery Coach for Women
Feeling Relief Instead of Heartbreak When Leaving a Marriage
Feel relief, not devastation, leaving your marriage? That often means you already grieved within it. Your spouse's pain isn't proof you're wrong, and guilt can coexist with a right decision. Read more →
Rebuilding Confidence After Targeted Gaslighting in a Marriage
Discovered your partner built a false narrative about your character? That's targeted gaslighting, not naivety — confidence was taken, not lacking. Track contradicting evidence, get specialized therapy, and let grief and clarity coexist. Read more →
How to Explain Divorce to Kids Without Villainizing a Difficult Parent
Explaining divorce to kids when the other parent's been harsh? Center it on your own needs, not their character. Validate your child's feelings without disparaging, and bring in a therapist for tougher patterns. Read more →
How to Emotionally Detach While Still Living Together During Separation
Mutually separating but still living together? Emotional timelines rarely match. Set real physical boundaries, name blurry habits, protect kids' routines, and lean on outside support. Read more →
How to Navigate Your First Solo Mother's Day After Separation
First solo Mother's Day? Grief and new tradition can coexist. Reframe around presence over performance, plan a simple morning, and save space for your own rest. Read more →
Sleeping With Your Separated Spouse: Why It Happens and How to Actually Stop
Still sleeping with your separated spouse? It's common, not a failure — chemical bonding makes willpower alone unreliable. Set structural boundaries, name the real need, and decide limits with a clear head. Read more →
Watching Your Almost-Ex Date Again While Still Sharing a Home
Watching your cohabiting spouse start dating again? It's a breakup with no exit door — your nervous system reacts even after you've accepted it. Plan your exits, ask for reasonable boundaries, and build small personal anchors. Read more →
Is It Safe to Post Screenshots From Your Divorce Online, Even With Names Blocked?
Thinking about posting your ex's texts, even blurred? Blocking a name doesn't anonymize it, and courts can weigh public posting against a parent. Talk to an attorney first, and keep a private record instead. Read more →
What to Do When You've Told Someone You're Considering Divorce, But Haven't Decided
Told someone you're considering divorce, before you'd decided? That doesn't commit you to anything. Their anxious check-ins reflect love, not certainty — a calm, direct conversation can reset the dynamic. Read more →
What to Say When a Friend Confides She's Thinking of Leaving Her Marriage
A friend's confiding she's considering divorce? Skip "oh no, are you okay" — listen instead. Ask open questions, hold off on advice, and check in again later without pressure. Read more →
Does Not Telling Anyone About Considering Divorce Mean You're Not Serious?
Kept thoughts of divorce private for months? That's not a lack of seriousness — a persistent thought is meaningful on its own. Disclosure and deciding are separate steps; a therapist can ease the isolation. Read more →