What Happens When Co-Parents Can’t Agree on Anything?
One of the hardest realities some parents face after divorce is this: sometimes co-parenting just doesn’t work. A question we hear often in our community sounds like this: “What happens if my co-parent and I can’t make even simple decisions together anymore? What if compromise feels impossible?”
If this is where you are, please know—you’re not alone. Many parents find themselves in “high-conflict co-parenting” situations where every conversation turns into an argument and no one seems to agree on what’s best for the kids.
High-Conflict Co-Parenting Explained
High-conflict doesn’t necessarily mean constant yelling or dramatic fights (though it can). More often, it looks like ongoing disagreements about even the smallest details: what the kids eat, how homework gets done, whether they can play a sport, or how holidays are spent. When parents can’t agree on anything, decision-making becomes gridlocked.
What Usually Happens in These Cases
When parents can’t compromise, courts often step in to create structure:
Parenting plans may become highly detailed, spelling out exact times, locations, and responsibilities.
Decision-making authority may be allocated differently—sometimes one parent gets final say over certain areas (like education, health care, or extracurriculars).
Parallel parenting may be recommended, where each parent makes decisions independently during their parenting time, minimizing the need for ongoing negotiation.
In extreme cases, a parenting coordinator or third-party professional may be assigned to help resolve disputes.
A Gentle Reminder
If you feel like every interaction with your co-parent is a battle, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re navigating one of the most challenging parenting dynamics out there. The goal isn’t to “win”—it’s to find the structure that keeps conflict away from your kids and gives them the stability they deserve.
And you don’t have to figure this out alone. At Fresh Starts, we have compassionate, vetted co-parenting experts—including coaches, mediators, and therapists—who specialize in helping families navigate high-conflict situations. Sometimes, the healthiest path forward is creating distance and clarity, not endless compromise.
If you’re at the beginning of divorce—or in the thick of co-parenting challenges—our free ebook, What to Consider When You’re Considering Divorce, can help. It includes checklists, scripts, and compassionate advice for navigating conflict and protecting your peace.
Your fresh start includes not just separating from your spouse, but building a co-parenting structure that protects your children and preserves your sanity.