Hey Olivia: Am I Allowed to Ask for Help Starting Over?
I'm a mom of two young girls and I'm the one moving out into a much smaller place. I spent almost everything I had on rent and the divorce. I want my girls to feel at home in the new space, and someone mentioned a divorce registry — but I feel so weird asking for help. What do I do?
This one stopped me. Because the thing she's really asking isn't "how do I build a registry." It's: am I allowed to need things right now? And the answer is yes. Unequivocally, yes.
When you got married, people celebrated you with gifts to help build a home. You're building one again — this time on your own terms, for yourself and your kids. That deserves support too.
A divorce registry is simply a curated list of what you actually need: bedding, a kitchen table, a throw blanket for movie nights. The small things that turn four walls into home — often under $30, but they add up fast when the people who love you chip in together.
You don't have to announce it publicly. Share it with the five people who already asked "what can I do?"
A simple note is enough: "I'm setting up a new place for me and the girls — here's a little list if you've been looking for a way to help." No over-explaining required.
What your daughters need isn't expensive furniture. It's a space that feels safe, warm, and like you. A nightlight. Their own shelf. Pancakes on Sunday mornings in a kitchen that's yours.
You are worth a soft place to land — not just them. Asking for support isn't defeat. It's one of the most courageous things you can do in a season this hard.
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