Expert Feature Lyerly Spongberg, Certified Divorce Coach, Mediation Coach, Co-Parenting Specialist
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At Fresh Starts, we’re proud to spotlight the incredible professionals who guide people through one of life’s most challenging transitions: divorce. Today, we’re featuring Lyerly Spongberg, a Certified Divorce Coach, Mediation Coach, Co-Parenting Specialist, whose work helps clients find clarity, strength, and a true fresh start.
Lyerly, can you tell us a little about yourself, what you do and what led you to this line of work?
Divorce is never just about paperwork. It’s about heartbreak, identity shifts, and high-stakes decisions made during complete life upheaval. I know—because I’ve lived it.
In my mid-thirties, I ended a hollow marriage, muddled my way through a two-year high-conflict divorce, became a single mom to two daughters, and started over. Years later, I remarried a widower with four children, and together we built a big, beautiful, blended life.
But after years of what I thought was “moving on,” I felt haunted by the emotional cost of the divorce—the trauma, the missteps, the choices I wish I’d made differently. Quiet at first, those feelings grew louder until they demanded to be heard.
I realized the real trauma wasn’t just the split—it was how unprepared I’d been for the emotional and logistical chaos that came with it. That reckoning became my calling.
As a Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Pre-Mediation Coach, Co-Parenting Specialist, and Trauma-Informed Coach, I help clients navigate divorce with less stress, more strategy, and grounded clarity. Drawing on lived experience and conflict resolution training, I support people in calming the chaos, managing overwhelm, and making clear, confident decisions—while saving time, money, and emotional energy at every stage of the process.
What inspired you to work with people going through divorce or big life transitions?
I was inspired to do this work because I saw the massive gap between what people actually need during divorce—and what most professionals are trained to provide.
Legal support handles paperwork. Therapy helps you look back. But when you’re in the thick of it—when everything feels high-stakes and upside down—who’s helping you make decisions, manage the emotional fallout, reduce conflict, and still function?
That space? The messy middle? That’s where I work.
I support clients through the overwhelm, the power struggles, the late-night fears, and the logistics that keep them up at 3 a.m. My job isn’t to fix their lives—it’s to walk beside them while they reclaim clarity, self-trust, and direction.
This work matters to me because I know what it’s like to feel untethered by divorce and everything that comes with it—and I know what it’s like to step into the other side with intention.
What is your specialty within the divorce space, and how do you typically support your clients?
As a Certified Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Divorce Coach, Mediation Coach, and Co-Parenting Specialist, I work through an alternative dispute resolution lens to help my clients approach divorce with greater clarity, emotional steadiness, and strategic focus. My specialty is preparing clients for mediation or litigation by helping them build both the internal capacity and practical skills to engage effectively throughout the process.
This includes:
• Clarifying goals, values, and priorities
• Anticipating emotional triggers, potential conflicts, and practical challenges—and learning how to manage them
• Developing communication tools and negotiation strategies
• Preparing targeted questions for consults, especially around legal and financial considerations
• Drafting and refining realistic proposals for parenting plans, schedules, or division of assets
• Supporting a child-centered mindset—keeping kids out of the middle and their needs front and center
• Building the right team of professionals so clients can make the most of expert support—and avoid wasting time, money, and energy
My role is to complement—not replace—the work of legal, financial, and mental health professionals. I help clients show up prepared, steady, and effective—so they can advocate for themselves without losing themselves.
My work saves time, money, and emotional duress—and creates better outcomes for everyone.
What makes your approach to working with clients unique?
What makes my approach unique is that I don’t just help clients “get through” divorce—I help them understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.
My ADR and high-conflict resolution training allows me to identify the deeper dynamics that often derail the process: fear of the unknown, unresolved resentment, betrayal, mistrust, and value and power struggles masked as fairness. Patterns from the marriage often resurface—and if they’re not named, they quietly fuel reactive decisions that can make everything harder.
Instead of reacting to obstacles and conflict at face value, I help clients pause and ask better questions: What’s actually being threatened? What story am I telling myself? How do I respond without escalating this?
That insight shifts everything. Clients show up more grounded, communicate more clearly, and make decisions that reflect their values—not just their emotions.
My work is also child-centered. I help parents stay focused on their children’s needs, without putting them in the middle. Divorce may end a marriage, but it doesn’t end the family—and I help clients navigate that shift with clarity, intention, and care.
What’s one thing that people are often surprised to learn about you?
People are often surprised to learn that I’ve spent the last 18 years as the matriarch of a big, blended family—raising six (now adult) kids—and now have the absolute joy of being “Lala” to three incredible grandchildren. I love reading to them, baking together, and getting messy with art projects. They remind me how much beauty there is in slowing down, noticing the little things, and exploring the world with fresh eyes. Being with them pulls me into the present in the best possible way.
Do you have a personal story or experience that helps you connect with clients on a deeper level?
My coaching isn’t about me—it’s about meeting clients exactly where they are, with the support they need. I don’t lead with my story, but when it feels helpful, and with their permission, I’ll share parts of it: the fears, the big emotions, the missteps, the hard-earned lessons, the moments I got it wrong, and the clarity that came later. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone—or talking with someone who’s walked through the fire and come out whole—can be a lifeline.
Clients don’t need my path—they need their own. But if sharing part of mine eases the weight or offers direction, I’ll always show up with truth. My own experience has made me deeply compassionate, fiercely empathetic, and fully present with the people I support.
What’s your favorite way to reset after a long day?
My favorite way to reset after a long day? Trying a new recipe with ‘70s music playing like I’m the opening act for Fleetwood Mac, cooking something cozy for my husband and me. Then it’s couch time with my two rescue pups, catching up with my kids and grandkids, and humbling myself with a few rounds of Jeopardy.
It keeps me sane—and slightly smug when I nail Final Jeopardy.
If you could describe your work in three words, what would they be?
Compassionate. Strategic. Transformational.
What does “fresh start” mean to you personally?
To me, a fresh start isn’t about forgetting the past—it’s about reclaiming your power in the present. It’s the moment you stop second-guessing yourself, stop pushing through on autopilot, and start choosing with intention. A fresh start can be messy, imperfect, even scary—but it’s also brave. It means showing up for yourself, trusting your intuition, expecting the best for yourself, and allowing something new to take shape… even when the next steps feel uncertain. It’s not about erasing where you’ve been—it’s about honoring it as part of your story, and letting it fuel where you’re headed next.
Thank you Lyerly for sharing your wisdom and experience with the Fresh Starts community! You can learn more about their work by checking out Lyerly’s profile below!
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.
