Hey Olivia, how do I let myself question the plan of staying together for the kids?
"I've said 'we're staying together for the kids' so many times it's basically become my personality. But my daughter asked me last week why I always look sad when he's talking, and I didn't have an answer for her." In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode, Olivia helps a listener sit with the question her daughter unknowingly asked her — and what it means to let a years-long belief be questioned.
Olivia covers:
- Why a child noticing something you thought you were hiding is real, meaningful information
- Why protecting your kids and staying together aren't automatically the same thing
- How kids learn what love and partnership look like by watching, not by being told
- Why questioning a years-long plan isn't a betrayal of past decisions or a sign of failure
- Why re-evaluating with new information is wisdom, not inconsistency
- The identity grief that can come with questioning a self-image built around staying and sacrificing
- Why both things can be true at once: staying wasn't a failure, and questioning it now is valid too
"Sometimes staying protects kids. And sometimes it teaches them something you never actually meant to teach them at all."
Need support navigating this? Fresh Starts offers free consults, a vetted professional network, and free guides. Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com.
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