How do my ex and I decide on disagreements if we have joint legal custody?
Please note that these answers are not legal advice. If you’re in need of legal advice or a lawyer please visit our Expert Guide
When you have joint legal custody, both parents must collaborate on major decisions involving your child's upbringing, including education, health care, and religion. Disagreements are common, but there are structured ways to handle them:
Open Communication & Clear Guidelines
Start with an open discussion, focusing on what’s best for your child—not personal grievances.
Set up clear communication channels: weekly check-ins or a shared app (like OurFamilyWizard or Cozi).
Mediation
If you can’t reach an agreement, consider a mediator—a neutral third party who helps you both find common ground.
Many courts recommend or require mediation before escalating to legal action.
Parenting Plan Clauses
A well-structured parenting plan should outline how disagreements are handled:
Who gets the final say in specific situations (e.g., medical vs. education)?
Timeframes for resolving conflicts before seeking outside help.
Escalation steps: Discussion → Mediation → Court.
Tie-Breaking Mechanisms
Some parents agree to:
Alternate final say (e.g., one parent decides on education, the other on medical issues).
Consult a third-party expert, like a counselor or educational consultant.
Court Intervention (Last Resort)
If all else fails, you can go back to court for a judge to make a decision.
Judges typically consider the child’s best interests and may modify custody if conflict is persistent.
Example:
If you disagree about where your child should go to school:
Discuss it directly and listen to each other’s points.
If unresolved, go to mediation.
If mediation fails, your parenting plan may outline the next steps.
If still unresolved, you may need a judge’s input.
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