What’s the Difference Between a Divorce Mediator and a Divorce Attorney?
When you’re standing at the beginning of a divorce, it can feel like you’ve been handed a vocabulary list you never signed up for. Mediators. Attorneys. Collaborative divorce. Litigation. If your head is spinning, you’re not alone. One of the most common questions we hear at Fresh Starts is: What’s the difference between a mediator and a divorce attorney—and how do I know which one I need?
Let’s break it down together.
A Divorce Attorney: Your Legal Advocate
A divorce attorney is a licensed lawyer who represents you and only you in the divorce process. Their job is to:
Protect your legal rights
Negotiate on your behalf
Draft and file court documents
Represent you in front of a judge, if necessary
Think of an attorney as your personal advocate. Their loyalty is to you alone, and their goal is to get the best possible legal outcome for your situation. Attorneys can work in different styles—some are more aggressive litigators, while others focus on settlement and collaborative approaches—but ultimately, their role is rooted in the law.
If you anticipate a high-conflict divorce, complicated financial matters, or issues like custody disputes, a divorce attorney is usually essential.
A Mediator: The Neutral Guide
A mediator, on the other hand, is a neutral third party who helps both people in a divorce come to agreements together. Mediators are trained in conflict resolution, not in taking sides. Their role is to:
Facilitate communication between you and your ex
Help identify shared goals and compromises
Draft a memorandum of understanding (a written record of what you agreed on)
Mediators don’t give legal advice or represent either party. They don’t tell you what you should do—they guide you in creating your own agreements. Mediation can be a more affordable and less adversarial option if both people are committed to working together and can communicate productively.
Do You Need Both?
Here’s where things overlap: many people choose to use both a mediator and a divorce attorney. You might work with a mediator to hash out the bulk of your agreements, and then each of you hires an attorney to review the documents and make sure everything is legally sound before filing.
In fact, it’s always a good idea to have a lawyer look over any mediated agreements before you sign. That way, you know your legal rights are protected while still benefiting from the collaborative spirit of mediation.
Choosing the Right Path for You
The “right” choice depends on your unique situation. If you and your ex are on relatively good terms and want to save money, mediation can be a wonderful tool. If your divorce is more complex or contentious, an attorney may be the safer path. And sometimes, a combination is the sweet spot.
At Fresh Starts, we believe knowledge is power. Understanding the difference between a mediator and a divorce attorney gives you the clarity you need to take your next step. And remember: you don’t have to figure this out alone—we have trusted divorce professionals in our Expert Guide who can help you navigate both routes with compassion and expertise.
👉 Want to explore whether mediation or legal representation makes the most sense for your situation? Book a free 15-minute consult with us, and we’ll connect you to the right experts.