You're Not Meant to Do Divorce Alone: How to Build Community When You Need It Most with Monique Alexander
So many of us try to get through divorce on our own. In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell talks with her longtime friend Monique Alexander about why no one is meant to go through divorce alone, and how to build the community you need, even if you've moved far from family. It's for anyone who is used to being the strong one.
About our guest
Monique Alexander is the founder of Monique Speaks, a mom, an educator, and a Fresh Starts expert. She holds a master's degree in industrial and organizational psychology and is a Gallup-certified strengths coach. Through Monique Speaks, she coaches women through divorce and other life transitions from a faith-based perspective, and she leads workshops and retreats. You can find her on her Fresh Starts Registry expert profile and on Instagram.
Key takeaways
- No one is meant to go through divorce, or any life transition, alone.
- Start with yourself. Be honest about what divorce means for you, and recognize that it is a form of grief.
- Asking for help once is different from letting people help carry the weight over time. Both take humility.
- Look for people you can trust: a good friend, a therapist, a mentor, or a faith community that can support you and hold you accountable.
- Community takes intentionality. A walk, a meal, or an invitation into your home builds the relationships you'll lean on.
- If you've moved, start where you already are: a coffee shop, the library, the PTO, a faith community, the gym, or your kids' activities.
- Paying for community, through a coach, therapy, a group, or a class, still counts.
- You can just get through divorce, or you can go through it, surrounded by people, on the way to healing.
Resources mentioned
- Monique Speaks, for coaching, workshops, and retreats
- Monique's workshop on the Fresh Starts website
- Fresh Starts Registry offers free consults, a vetted expert network, and free guides.
Where to listen and subscribe
Listen to the full episode on Spotify. You can also follow Divorce Happens on Instagram and join The Divorce Happens Community on Substack.
Thank you to Monique for being part of our community, and thank you for listening.
This episode is for general information and isn't a substitute for professional mental health support.