Divorce Guide: Resources to Normalize Divorce for Families and Children
According to statistics, 50% of families will go through the divorce process at least one time. That means half of children will have divorced parents – divorce is simply part of life, and we’re here to support families through the process. At Fresh Starts, we believe that divorce is a brave decision for everyone involved, and should be normalized as part of life. There is nothing shameful about coming from a family of divorce, and we want believe that divorce representation is incredibly important to help de-stigmatize and normalize divorce – and the beautiful myriad of family systems divorce can being. We rounded up resources to help normalize divorce for families and children. We encourage you to use these resources as you talk about divorce with your children, in daily life, and moving forward too. And, if you’re not a family of divorce, you can also use these resources to illustrate the representation of different family styles for all children. We believe that divorce is a fresh start for the whole family, and we are here to normalize and de-stigmatize divorce for all families.
Check out our favorite resources to normalize divorce for families:
The Fox and the Hare by The Okee Dokee Brothers: When we first listened to this song by our friends The Okee Dokee Brothers, we cried, and not tears of sadness, but tears of gratefulness that the concept of divorce and domestic separation was being sung about so beautifully and with such respect to every critter involved. The song illustrates the love story of the Fox and the Hare, who come from different worlds, but fall in love, and ultimately, out of love - which is a normal and healthy part of life - and as the song says, “sometimes love doesn’t mean ‘til death due us part, but one day songbirds will sing again inside your heart.” You can check out the whole Brambletown album here.
Though not explicitly about divorce, The Invisible String is a beautiful book about the way we are all connected and a fantastic tool for helping kids cope with all kinds of separation anxiety, loss, and grief. Therapist Justine Carino said The Invisible String, “can be used to help kids see how they will always stay connected to each parent, even if they are not with them all of the time.”
This positive and upbeat book is written by two siblings who have been through a divorce and look back on their experience to help other kids through the life change. We love the message that although it is a big life change for everyone, it is not the end of the world.
For the younger crowd, we love this beautifully illustrated book with a positive spin on having two homes and the wonderful aspects of each house.
Why Do Families Change? Our First Talk About Separation and Divorce is a valuable resource designed to help children understand and cope with the changes that occur when their parents go through a separation or divorce. Written by Dr. Jillian Roberts and illustrated by Cindy Revell, this book offers a gentle and age-appropriate approach to discussing the emotional impact of divorce on children. We appreciate how the book focuses on the fact that families can change, and that’s not a bad thing!
Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce is a heartwarming and empowering resource for families navigating the challenges of divorce. Written by Tamara Schmitz, this book offers a positive and reassuring perspective for children experiencing the changes that come with separation.
This simple and straightforward book for families is ideal for young children and addresses a lot of the basic questions they may have about divorce. Written by author and mother Ashley Simpo, a kids book about divorce serves as a supportive tool for children, validating their emotions and helping them navigate the challenges of divorce with empathy, resilience, and self-assurance.
Todd Parr is a fantastic children’s book author and illustrator, with his bold colors, and simple, yet powerful statements. We love this fun book about different family styles, types, sizes, and more. It depicts every family system you can think of in a really fun way which’ll get your kiddos smiling and pointing out specific parts.
When I was looking for books about parents separating for my kids (who were both under 5 at the time), there was practically nothing on the market that felt GOOD to share with them. Everything was so sad and depressing - and assumed the children were angry - and my kids didn’t even know they should feel angry, so why would I want to put that idea in their head? I loooooved You Make Your Parents Super Happy because it celebrates the kid and their relationship to both parents.
Going to keep it simple and just say I love this book with all of my heart. It shows quite literally every type of family, religion, body type, race, ethnicity - and every house type, style (even addresses homelessness), etc. Truly love this one and think every family and classroom should have The Great Big Book of Families.
Another one of my favorite books about people and humanity - All About Families is another knockout book by Usborne! We love all of the family types, styles, systems, clothing, races, and religions in All About Families - and this one addresses step-families, too! Love it so much.
Another one of our faves, Who’s In My Family has some great and simple explanations of family types for even the smallest kiddos. We checked this one out from the library and still have it. Oops. Even families make mistakes.
Fresh Starts Expert and Divorce Coach Ann Runkle recommends Fred Stays With Me, a delightfully illustrated book about a little girl who goes back and forth between her mom and dad’s house, but her dog, Fred, remains her constant companion and stays with her. We appreciate how the story expresses and addresses a child's concerns, highlights the friendship between child and pet, presents a common ground for the parents, and resolves conflict in a positive way.
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