Hey Olivia, do I reach out one more time to my friend who went quiet, or let it go?

Have you ever had a close friend go quiet the moment they learned about your divorce? In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a question for anyone grieving a friendship during divorce and wondering whether to reach out one more time or let it go.

A listener wrote in: “My best friend of 15 years went quiet on me the second she found out I was getting divorced. No fight, no falling out, she just stopped texting back.”

Key takeaways

Losing a friend during divorce is its own real grief, separate from the grief of the marriage.

A friend's silence often says more about their own fear or discomfort than about anything you did.

People withdraw for many reasons: not knowing what to say, feeling pressure to pick a side, or quiet fear about what a divorce means for their own marriage.

Reaching out one more time and letting go aren't opposites. Olivia shares a script for one final, honest, low-pressure message.

Six months of silence, after reaching out twice, is a real answer worth accepting.

This layered loss deserves its own grieving process.

“You are fully allowed to let the silence itself be the actual information you're working with.”

Resources

Need support navigating divorce? Fresh Starts Registry offers free consults, a vetted network of divorce professionals, and free guides. For more stories and conversations, join The Divorce Happens Community on Substack or read Divorce Guide Magazine.

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If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who is waiting on a text that hasn't come. You aren't the only one.