Hey Olivia, how do I ask for space without hurting the person who actually showed up for me?
Is someone who loves you checking in so often that it's starting to feel like pressure? In this Hey Olivia listener letter episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell talks with anyone who needs to ask for space from a loved one who has truly shown up, without hurting them or feeling ungrateful.
A listener wrote in: โMy sister has been showing up for me nonstop since my divorce, texting every morning and every night, asking if I'm okay a hundred times a week until the question itself starts to feel like pressure.โ
Key takeaways
Needing space from even the most loving support isn't a betrayal of that love or a sign of ingratitude.
The guilt of wanting an hour of quiet makes sense, but it isn't accurate.
Constant checking and calibrated support are two different things.
Asking for space is giving someone honest information, not pushing them away.
A simple script structure: gratitude first, the specific need second, reassurance third.
Unaddressed over-support can quietly build resentment, just like under-support can.
A pattern of managing everyone else's feelings before your own is worth bringing to a therapist.
โAsking for space isn't the same as pushing her away. It's giving her real, honest information that actually helps her love you more effectively, not less.โ
Resources
Need support navigating divorce? Fresh Starts Registry offers free consults, a vetted network of divorce professionals, and free guides. For more stories and conversations, join The Divorce Happens Community on Substack or read Divorce Guide Magazine.
Listen and subscribe
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If this episode helped, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who's surrounded by love and quietly needs a little room.
This episode is for general information and isn't a substitute for support from a licensed mental health professional.