Grounded in ACT: How Metaphors and the Choice Point Model Strengthen Connection in Therapy
For too long, society has perpetuated the myth that “experts” are somehow experts in other people’s lives. I’ve known this wasn’t true since the first time I experienced therapy.
I sat slumped on a green sofa in a cramped university office in Edinburgh. I’d done no research—just flipped through the school pamphlet, found the counseling department’s number, and booked the first available appointment.
I told the therapist, a man who seemed only a few years older than me, that I couldn’t stop watching Hollyoaks, a British teen soap opera (think 90210 meets Days of Our Lives), and eating “shareable” bags of peanut M&Ms. He immediately suggested I watch only one episode and eat a smaller bag of M&Ms. I never went back to him.
He didn’t hear me. He didn’t understand me. And most importantly, he undermined my struggle. It wasn’t about bingeing shows or food—it was about pain. My parents had just divorced, and it was messy. There were threats to our safety, social workers were involved, and I was a million miles away in Edinburgh while my family crumbled in Los Angeles.
If only that therapist had known about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It was 2005, so ACT had already been around for decades. But his approach felt minimizing and dismissive—the opposite of accepting.
Knowing what I know now, I wish he had shared the Two Mountains metaphor.
The ACBS resource page provides this succinct explanation:
Quoted from Twohig, M. (2004). ACT for OCD: Abbreviated Treatment Manual — “It’s like you’re in the process of climbing up a big mountain that has lots of dangerous places on it. My job is to watch out for you and shout out directions if I can see places you might slip or hurt yourself. But I’m not able to do this because I’m standing at the top of your mountain, looking down at you. If I’m able to help you climb your mountain, it’s because I’m on my own mountain, just across a valley. I don’t have to know anything about exactly what it feels like to climb your mountain to see where you are about to step, and what might be a better path for you to take.”
Had he applied this concept, I believe we could’ve started from a place of mutuality—a space where both client and clinician honor the expertise we each have in our own lives while valuing the therapist’s unique vantage point. Maybe then, I could’ve been open to his suggestion, which in hindsight reflected somewhat of a harm-reduction perspective. But at the time, he came across as a “know-it-all” without actually knowing anything about me.
The humility of a therapist reaps benefits far beyond quieting the ego—it bridges the rocky terrain between the therapist and the person seeking support.
As a clinician now, I regularly introduce the Two Mountains metaphor in my first meeting with clients because it lays the foundation for our work together. It helps ease anxiety for those nervous about starting therapy by reducing the power imbalance, and it offers context for the process ahead: that we are each on our own mountain, and therapy is a shared journey guided by curiosity and compassion.
It also creates space for me to share that I, too, am in therapy, benefiting from my therapist’s guidance—a self-disclosure I find meaningful because it normalizes the therapeutic process and underscores that I’m not standing at the peak of my mountain looking down. Like the individuals I work with, I’m climbing too.
You can read more about the Two Mountains metaphor and many others on the ACBS website.
The evidence is indisputable: metaphors bring concepts to life, but ACT protocols provide the roadmap for implementing ACT effectively.
One of the most practical tools in my clinical work is the Choice Point model. It reminds us that
You cannot avoid choice—because not choosing is still a choice.
Values give our choices meaning.
Many clients come into therapy referencing their “love language,” which can be helpful—but I find that transformation deepens when we link behaviors to values. When clients identify what truly matters—why they want to express love or connection in a certain way—they begin to notice how their actions move them toward or away from those values.
Again and again, clients tell me that one of the most impactful shifts from therapy is realizing that they have choices in their lives. Even when those choices don’t perfectly align with their values, they begin to notice their capacity for agency, awareness, and engagement.
And that, to me, is what clinical work is all about: holding a safe and supportive space to explore and experience life’s twists and turns. Therapists have the choice to show up humbly—offering guidance while validating the knowledge, love, and compassion that clients bring to the therapeutic relationship.
That is a choice I know I will continue to make.
Molly England is a Licensed Master Social Worker in New York. She earned her Master of Social Work from the University of Edinburgh in Scotland and holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She is certified in trauma-informed care through the University at Buffalo School of Social Work and in perinatal mental health through Postpartum Support International (PSI) to support her work with new parents. Molly also holds a certificate of completion from Harvard Medical School’s course in Lifestyle and Wellness Coaching, enhancing her expertise in guiding individuals toward personal growth and fulfillment.
Molly began her career as a social worker and program director at Homeless Health Care Los Angeles, empowering and supporting individuals experiencing homelessness. She has served as the Associate Executive Director at ECLI-VIBES, where she furthered her commitment to holistic, individual, and community-wide development and growth.
She is a widely published freelance writer, with work appearing in The Washington Post, HuffPost, Salon, the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, and more. Molly has completed her first manuscript and is actively querying literary agents. She has appeared as a guest on DailyMailTV, discussing parenting topics such as race and screen time.
In her therapeutic and coaching practice, Molly blends trauma-informed care, perinatal health expertise, and evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness, and solution-focused strategies. Her warm, nonjudgmental style creates a safe, supportive space for individuals and couples to explore vulnerabilities, build resilience, and embrace transformation. She specializes in anxiety, depression, self-compassion, disordered eating, substance use, relationship dynamics, and life transitions.
Through both professional expertise and personal insight, Molly empowers her clients to set meaningful goals, cultivate psychological flexibility, and create fulfilling, values-driven lives.
Visit www.willowofwellness.com and linktr.ee/mollyaengland to connect.
This article was originally posted here.
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.