Who determines what your joint physical custody agreement looks like?
Please note that these answers are not legal advice. If you’re in need of legal advice or a lawyer please visit our Expert Guide
Your joint physical custody agreement is typically determined through a combination of:
Mutual Agreement Between Parents (Best Case Scenario)
If you and your ex can communicate effectively, you can work together to decide:
Where the child will live on which days.
How holidays, vacations, and school breaks are divided.
Drop-off and pick-up schedules.
This agreement is then submitted to the court for approval.
If the judge finds it fair and in the best interest of the child, it becomes legally binding.
Mediation (If You Can't Agree)
If you can’t reach an agreement, you may be required to go to mediation.
A neutral third-party mediator helps both parents negotiate and create a plan.
Mediation is often faster, less expensive, and less stressful than court.
Court Decision (If Mediation Fails)
If mediation doesn’t work, a family court judge will decide.
The judge looks at:
Best interests of the child: Stability, safety, emotional and physical needs.
Parental involvement: History of caregiving and relationship with the child.
Location and logistics: How practical it is for the child to move between homes.
Schooling and community ties: Stability in school and community life.
Willingness to cooperate: Parents who are more willing to co-parent usually have an advantage.
Parenting Plans (Optional but Powerful)
Many parents create a Parenting Plan—a detailed document that outlines:
Weekly and holiday schedules
Transportation logistics
How decisions are made
Conflict resolution processes
Judges favor detailed, well-thought-out plans that show cooperation.
Example Scenario:
If you and your ex agree that the children will stay with you on weekdays and with him on weekends, you can draft a schedule, submit it to the court, and it’s likely to be approved. If you can’t agree, you may be sent to mediation. If that fails, the judge steps in and makes the decision for you.
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