The VASE Method of Communication: Validate, Acknowledge, Support, and Express
Knowing what to say and how to say it can be difficult, and there are so many specific scenarios we cannot account for when you are supporting your people. So we built you a method. It’s called the VASE Method, and it stands for: Validate, Acknowledge, Support and Express. It’s like bringing someone flowers: you want to make it easy for them to receive your words. And, just like with flowers, you’d present them in a vase.
We’ll explain.
Validate: Recognize and honor that their experience is real and true. Demonstrate the truth and value of their lived experience.
Acknowledge: Ground them in their reality by illustrating the acceptance of their moment and feelings. Offer an understanding of their personal truth.
Support: Demonstrate your support by offering what you realistically can do to lighten their mental, physical, or emotional load.
Express: Tell them how you feel – and don’t hold back! We give you full permission to love on your loved ones. Express your pride, love, respect, and compassion.
VASE Examples
| Validate | Oh friend, I imagine this moment is so hard and scary. |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge | You may be having so many overwhelming feelings, and that’s totally understandable. |
| Support | I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I love you so much. You’re not alone and we will get through this together. |
| Express | I’m so proud of you for reaching out and I want you to know how incredibly loved you are. |
| Validate | Thank you for sharing that you’re having a tough time. As exciting as life can be, it sure can be full of low moments too. |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge | I would imagine right now it feels really heavy to do simple tasks, but please know you’re not alone. |
| Support | I’m here to pick up meds, or send you some TV show ideas, or sit with you on Zoom while you rest so you don’t feel alone ever. |
| Express | I’m so proud of you for reaching out and I want you to know how incredibly loved you are. |
| Validate | Well hello, friend! Thank you for sharing this exciting news! |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge | What a special time in your life, and I’m so proud of you. You should be so proud of yourself. |
| Support | I want to hear how everything went down – can we FaceTime later so you can give me all of the details? |
| Express | You are an amazing human and I’m so honored to celebrate you today and all days! |
Check out some scripts (you’ll see the VASE Method come to life!)
