Divorce is more than a legal event: it is a whole-person, “whole-health” event affecting physical, mental, and financial health of everyone involved, especially the divorcing person at the center.
Although there are many professionals in the divorce ecosystem with deep expertise in a specific domain—legal, therapeutic, financial planning, parent coordination, evaluation, and others—the divorcing person is left to be the “general contractor” of a complex, hard to foresee, often changing process, with no prior experience and often with depleted resources (health, money, stamina, decision making clarity) so necessary to manage through the divorce journey.
Built on the patient-centered healthcare navigation model, The Pattern Project helps people move through divorce the way patient navigators help people move through medical care: focused on what matters most to them, alert to obstacles, and connected to the right help at the right time. By co-creating an Integrated Recovery Pathway™ (IRP™) and offering structured, strategic, and adaptive decision-preparation support, we help divorcing people build their own capacity to understand processes, respond to challenges, and make decisions that are true for them and their goals. In turn, this helps the divorcing person be better prepared to engage with the specialists they will bring onto their own team.
Wherever you are in your own divorce journey, there are principles you can start using today:
Locate yourself in the divorce process, so you can be realistic about what's next without taking on too much too soon.
Survey your situation, including how contentious things may get, so you can plan for the process as it is, not as you hope it will be.
Take inventory of your resources, like savings or support from friends and family.
Name your risks, like an uncooperative spouse or unstable housing, so you can shore up where you're vulnerable.
Define your goals, such as speed, safety, financial security, peace of mind, or less conflict for your kids.
Prioritize your goals, so you know which matter most when they compete, and where to direct your energy.
Prepare for your next step, like a hearing or negotiation, to enter clear and steady.
Anticipate where things could go off course, so you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting in crisis.
Adjust as things change without losing sight of your priorities.
Recognize progress and achievement. Divorce can be long and full of the unexpected; give yourself credit for how far you've come on the way to your new life.
While the divorce process can seem daunting, there is an after. These tools help you see what's coming, know what matters, and own what's next.
1. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2023). Defining whole health. In Achieving whole health: A new approach for veterans and the nation (Chap. 2). The National Academies Press. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK591719/
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.