Can you introduce yourself—your name, title, and the work you do?
I'm Jessica Knight. I'm a certified coach (CPCC) with a high-conflict divorce coaching certification from HCDC, based in Brookline, MA. Most of my clients are divorcing or co-parenting with someone who uses control. A large part of my work is litigation support, which means reading their communication and organizing their records so they can work well with their attorney.
What drew you to this profession, and why do you specialize in divorce?
I started out coaching people recovering from emotionally abusive relationships. Many of them left and then found the same behavior coming back through the parenting schedule, the co-parenting app, and court filings. I lived a version of that myself. I was already divorced and already had custody of my daughter when I learned the term post-separation abuse, and it had been going on the whole time. My divorce coaching grew out of wanting people to recognize it earlier than I did.
What exactly does a divorce coach do during the divorce process?
In my practice, I handle the parts of a case that sit between the emotional fallout and the legal advice. I read through months of co-parenting messages to find what repeats. I help clients decide which accusations need an answer and which go in a log. Before attorney meetings, we turn a client's worries into specific questions and a short summary, so the billable hour goes to legal strategy.
What are the biggest misconceptions people have about your role?
People assume I'm there for emotional support. That does happen, but most weeks I'm reading parenting-app threads, lining up dates against school records, or helping someone cut a ten-page timeline down to what their attorney can use. I don't give legal advice, and I'm not a therapist. My job is helping clients get more out of the professionals they already have.
At what stage in divorce should someone consider working with a divorce coach?
Earlier is easier, ideally before the first round of filings, because habits around communication and record-keeping set in fast. I also work with plenty of people years after their divorce was final. Post-separation abuse often shows up most clearly once the case is over and the parenting plan becomes the main point of contact.
What are the top ways you help clients during divorce?
The center of my work is helping people separate what they know happened from what they can show. Clients usually know exactly what's going on. Courts need it in a different form, with dates, records, and a clear account of what each behavior did to the family. I also help clients write replies that are short and factual, since anything they send can end up as an exhibit.
How does working with you make the process less overwhelming or stressful?
Most people arrive with years of messages and a sense that everything is urgent. We sort through it, figure out what actually matters for the case, and set up a system for handling new messages as they come in. Once that system exists, a hostile email at 10pm stops dictating how the next day goes.
What outcomes do your clients usually experience after working with you?
Clients usually leave with an organized record and a much clearer picture of what they've been dealing with. They tend to write shorter replies and spend less energy defending themselves against every accusation. They walk into attorney meetings with specific questions instead of a stack of screenshots, and they make decisions about their case with less second-guessing.
What’s one example of how your work has made a big difference in someone’s divorce journey?
A client often arrives with hundreds of screenshots and a strong sense that something is wrong that she can't put into words. After we go through them together, she can show her attorney something concrete, such as schedule changes that keep landing the night before her parenting time. Her attorney finally has something to work with.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone thinking about hiring a divorce coach?
Ask what they know about coercive control and post-separation abuse, and ask what actually happens in a session. A coach who mainly offers encouragement can be great for an amicable divorce. If the other parent is still trying to control you, you need someone who can read the communication and understands how family court works.
How do you collaborate with other divorce professionals to support clients?
I work alongside attorneys and never in place of them. I prepare clients to use their attorney's time well. When a client wants it, I put together summaries of communication patterns for the attorney to review. Legal analysis stays with the attorney and clinical work stays with the therapist. With guardians ad litem and parenting coordinators, I help clients present their concerns clearly and keep the focus on the children.
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.