Can you tell us a little about yourself, what you do and what led you to this line of work?
I'm Jessica Knight, a certified coach based in Brookline, MA, with a high-conflict divorce coaching certification. I work with people who are divorcing or co-parenting with someone controlling. I came to this work through my own experience and through years of coaching people out of emotionally abusive relationships, where I kept seeing the same behavior follow them into court.
What inspired you to work with people going through divorce or big life transitions?
I went through post-separation abuse before I knew it had a name. I already had custody of my daughter, and the control kept going through schedules, messages, and court anyway. Nobody around me could explain what was happening. I want people in that position to have the words and a plan much sooner than I did.
What is your specialty within the divorce space, and how do you typically support your clients?
I specialize in coercive control and post-separation abuse in custody cases. Much of my work is reading co-parenting messages, finding what repeats, and getting clients' records into a shape their attorney can use. I also help clients decide which messages need a reply and prepare for meetings with attorneys, guardians ad litem, and evaluators.
What makes your approach to working with clients unique?
Courts tend to look at one incident at a time, and most of my clients are dealing with something that only makes sense as a pattern. I help them see the pattern running underneath those incidents and explain it with dates, records, and specific examples, so a judge or evaluator with a short hearing can actually follow it.
What’s one thing that people are often surprised to learn about you?
I spend hours reading parenting-app messages, and I've come to think they are some of the most revealing documents in a custody case. One email can look perfectly reasonable on its own and mean something very different once you've read the three hundred before it. Most of my clients feel that difference long before they can explain it.
Do you have a personal story or experience that helps you connect with clients on a deeper level?
I'm a single mom, and I've been through my own parenting-time modifications. For years after my divorce I didn't understand what was still happening, and I kept wondering whether I was overreacting. That stretch was lonely. When a client describes that same confusion, I recognize it, and I can tell them what helped me make sense of it.
What’s your favorite way to reset after a long day?
SLEEP! I work out every morning so focusing on that the night before helps me unwind. I watch historical dramas like The Gilded Age or Victoria. I have a master's degree in Middle Eastern history, so I've always liked the research side. I work A LOT and really have a passion to explain the things that are so hard to understand.
If you could describe your work in three words, what would they be?
I'd pick pattern, translation, and steadiness.
What does “fresh start” mean to you personally?
To me it means making decisions about my own life without first checking how the other person will react. That includes small things, like what I plan for a weekend or how quickly I answer a message. For a lot of my clients, that kind of fresh start comes well after the divorce is final, and it's worth planning for separately.
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.